This Sunday is Father’s Day and this particular holiday is hard for me to handle. But this year it is hard for a different reason.
Growing up it was hard because I had a broken relationship with my actual father. I had created him to be a demon in my mind. Unfortunately a lot of children of divorced parents end up doing this to one of their parents. My father was the one I hated, because I lived a happy life with my mom.
In October of 2014 my father passed away and I found out about a week after he died.
My world came crashing down around me and I felt completely heartbroken over losing him.
Why? I did not have a relationship with him. It had been three years since I had spoken to him. I was convinced I wanted him out of my life forever and that he was a horrible person.
Obviously, the reality was that he was not some horrible person. He never stopped loving me and he never stopped showing me that love. My father never treated me poorly and his failed marriage with my mom did not mean he was a demon.
This year Father’s Day is hard because I miss him and I wish I had a second chance. I wish I mended that broken relationship before I lost the chance to ever try. I regret that missed opportunity every day.
I still have not learned how to process the loss of my father. I am still trying to figure out what to do to move on. My heart still hurts and I cry when I think about it for too long.
But the one thing that I have learned is to love ruthlessly.
What I mean by this is to love the people in your life without any limits. Unconditionally. Love them in the biggest ways you can. Give them all they deserve and more. (Important sidenote: love yourself too, you deserve this same treatment!)
You truly never know when you might lose someone in your life. Please don’t miss out on the opportunity to tell someone you care.
Repair that friendship you are considering fixing. Reach out to that old friend. Give your mom a card. Do whatever it is you need to do to know you are showing the people in your life proper love and appreciation.
I wish I had done something like that for my dad.
Happy Father’s Day.