Jumbled Thoughts (with Meaning)

There comes a point in everyone’s life where we must accept that every day is fraught with something negative. Sometimes these negative things directly affect us and other times it is indirect. Either way, they will weigh heavy on our minds and color how we see the world that day.

I do not have something life changing to say to you today. In fact, you’ve probably heard all my thoughts before somewhere else.

All I have to offer are jumbled thoughts that I must get out or else I may implode.

When confronted with the choice to remember good things or bad things about someone: remember the good. Remember the laughter and how they smiled and their brilliance. Think about how radiant they were in their happiest moments.

The loss of someone, from death or the end of a relationship, is devastating. And there is almost nothing in this world that heals those wounds completely, but they heal, at least a little bit, with time.

Everything in life is finite and everything ends, especially life itself. And this is the source of our never ceasing existential dread.

So, today, please hug those you love. Text your friend you have not talked to in awhile. Be kind to everyone, even that person you may not like all that much. Spread joy and love because every damn day we are plagued with sadness and you can never know how much that person needs your kindness.

It can all be gone in an instant.

Live a life that makes those you encounter smile and fill with joy. Be the type of person that is remembered for compassion and love.

Just be nice to people. Value them. Take care of yourself.

That’s all.


The Deliverance of Creativity


Where we invest our creative energy can end up being the thing that saves us.

Recently, my life, more specifically my future, was entirely uprooted. Sometimes life throws a domino effect of changes your way when you are least prepared for it. Initially, it starts off with a living arrangement change or different work hours and suddenly your plans for your future are shattered.

In my case, I lost the one thing dearest to me that I hoped would be my sense of stability and consistency. Now you may be reading this wondering how a post titled “The Deliverance of Creativity” has anything to do with a breakup. Well, that is because creativity is the very answer to the question: what comes next?

Now, let me clarify that I do not claim to be coming from a place of great wisdom or experience. My breakup is still fresh, recent, and raw. But my thoughts draw upon my recent experiences and how I have managed to survive them.

One of my gut reactions to help cope with this heartbreak was to start watching TED Talks again. If you have not heard of TED Talks they are phenomenal short talks on any topic designed to drive home a specific lesson or idea. I strongly recommend that everyone watch as many TED Talks as possible.

Through this random choice to indulge in TED Talks I discovered what is now one of my favorite talks of all time: Power of Breakup by Onkar Kishan Khullar. If you have an extra 13 minutes, watch it.

What struck me the most was his explanation on why the Taj Mahal was built. Shah Jahan commissioned it to be built in memory of his wife, Mumtaz Mahal, after she died. He created art from his heartbreak. And this was Onkar’s point: sometimes the most beautiful things emerge from pain.

This is where I connected the dots and realized the truth behind that idea. From the moment my relationship ended I had been writing a near constant stream of thoughts, poetry, etc. And now, more than ever before, I have been inspired and driven to pursue photography.

Edvard Munch said it best when he explained, “Art comes from joy and pain…but mostly pain.”

My point in all of this it to say that when you hit rock bottom, there are two options. You can either sit and wallow in it or you can turn your pain into something. Instead, you can take action and be the deciding factor in how your pain fits into your future.

We are all broken. And we all suffer crippling hurt at one point or another, but it does not have to stop there. Yes, feel the pain. Yes, accept it. But from there: do. Do something, anything, but at least take a step forward.

Maybe you shape your pain into a book that will later be published. Or maybe you create an amazing social media campaign that takes a community by storm. Or it could be as simple as discovering a new hobby and committing to it.

Whatever it is, do not let yourself waste away. Take this time to challenge yourself and grow. I promise you will be surprised by just how much newfound creativity will deliver you from the pain.

“Suffering is justified as soon as it becomes the raw material of beauty.” Jean-Paul Sartre



2017: In List Format

This post is coming almost a month into the new year because I always find it daunting to set goals for the new year. I don’t believe in resolutions because those sound so disposable. By the end of February your resolutions can be gone, cast aside. “Try better next year,” you laugh.

Goals. That word sounds far more permanent. It sounds adult-ish and has an air of determination to it. When you set goals they are something you strive to accomplish. And, really, there is no timeline for a goal. You set it now and it may not happen until next year, but that is okay. What matters is that you set it.

So, the rest of this post will be a list of the goals I am setting at the beginning of the new year. Throughout the year and ever on, I will come back and cross them off as they happen.

This is probably one of the best ways to get to know me better, so enjoy.

New goals:

  • Transform my relationship with food and eat healthier
  • Make exercise effortless, another part of the routine and something I enjoy
  • Spend an entire weekend in SF
  • Take a trip to Portland, OR
  • Complete 3 new hikes in Yosemite
  • Run in my first 5k
  • Expand my professional photography business
  • Expand my collection of photography equipment
  • Buy a new car
  • Get another tattoo or two
  • Learn to play ukulele
  • Learn to play violin
  • Expand and grow in my video making capabilities
  • Write a book
  • Go to the Grand Canyon
  • Make mindfulness/yoga a regular practice
  • Start keeping a journal
  • Become a budget master
  • Spend another weekend in L.A. exploring it further
  • Start waking up earlier
  • Make my bed every morning
  • PUBLISH an article or two; Freelance or otherwise
  • Make a new friend
  • Reconnect with an old one
  • Keep going to therapy
  • Go and see Hamilton (hopefully in L.A.)
  • Volunteer in some capacity
  • Take some online classes/maybe some adult education classes
  • Stay organized
  • Be minimalistic
  • Hike. A lot.
  • Practice self-love
  • etc

I might add more later. But we will see. A lot of these are not things that can simply be checked off, because they are on-going, never ending practices, but it was important for me to put them here. To put them out into the universe.

Thanks for reading.